“You Suck At Life.”

No, no, no. Not YOU. You are fabulous and awesome. But me, well, I apparently suck at life. Or so I’ve been told the last three days.

Here’s the thing: I can take constructive criticism. No, really – I can. Oh sure, when you first deliver said constructive criticism to me I’ll get all pissy and defensive. But an hour later I’ll realize you were right and were only trying to help me, so I’ll bake you some of these and come crawling back to apologize.

This has not been constructive criticism. This has been harsh,unwarranted disparagement.  And while I can shake it off for the most part, I’d by lying if I said it didn’t get under my skin a little. Which is why I was in need of more than a run to get my frustrations out. Frankly, I was in the mood to punch something.

But seriously, you probably know by now that I am not violent person. But I feel the need to tell you that I’m not before going any further with this story. In those heated situations when fight-or-flight instincts kick in, I go with flight 100% of the time.

And I’ve actually never been in a fight. Unless you count the time in fifh grade when my supposed best friend chased me home from school, pushed me down and told me I could not be in her “Star Search” audition tape because I was the worst dancer she’d ever seen. Yeah, that really happened. And I forgave her. Because she was totally right. Also, I knew she’d never make it to Ed McMahon. She thought she sounded like Mariah Carey but she absolutley sucked – and that’s not constructive criticism.

So not happening...

Anyway, now that we’re clear that I’m a non-violent, sucky dancer let’s get on with it…

I don’t have a punching bag so I went searching for my old Taebo tapes instead – Billy Blanks and I had a date pretty much every day of my junior year of high school. But then I realized even if I found them I have no way to play them because they are on VHS. And seriously, who has a VCR these days? If by chance you do, I’m sorry if I offended you.

Also, can I borrow your VCR?

In light of my lack of vintage technology, I opted for this DVD instead:

Yeah, Jillian and I made up. We had a heart to heart. I asked her to not be so annoying. She said she couldn’t do that but pointed out that while I did indeed wear shorts and a tank top on Sunday, that by no means meant that I should have. (My apologies to everyone that had to witness my bare limbs.) Maybe, she gently suggested, a little shredding and kickboxing would do me some good.

Constructive criticism – I told you can, I can take it.

So, I did both. I started with the kickboxing. I don’t know if you’ve done this workout before, but it’s like one of Jillian’s first workout DVD’s. It’s about 20 minutes long and is a decent workout, but not awesome. It did the trick though and definitley helped me get out some of my pent up rage. The rest of the rage was promptly sweated out during our reunited shred.

Mission accomplished.

And while I appreciate the extra workout motivation, all non-constructive criticism can stop. At least until I can find those Taebo tapes and get my hands on a VCR…

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11 Responses to “You Suck At Life.”

  1. Jillian and I are kind of in a fight too. After awhile I get sick of her telling me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and I just tell her she should shut it. I have not tried that crazy looking DVD you have there though…good luck!

  2. Though I’m sorry you felt the need to hit things, I’m glad Jillian helped get it out of your system. I find a good kickboxing workout really helpful for blowing off steam, or suppressed rage, whatever you want to call it. :)

  3. Jillian and I have a rocky relationship. It’s all over the place. Right now, we’re so on. And I had no idea this dvd existed. Which is funny because I’m building an entire dvd library of Jillian, or so it seems…

  4. Kiah says:

    Get IT, Molly! Hope Jillian made ya feel better. Want me to come over and punch some fools? 😉

  5. I freaking loved taebo, and my old tapes are all still at my parents house. I refuse to let my mom throw them out. My VCR is probably still there too.
    I also love Jillian. I may swear at her constantly, but I can’t help but love her.

  6. Deitra says:

    What crazy, janky ho said you suck at life? ‘Cause they’ll get some Tae bo to the head for sure! Props for finding a constructive outlet for the rage. HUGS! Love you!

  7. Julia says:

    Umm whoever told you this nonsense sucks at life, not you!

    I dont have a relationship with Jillian..how is she? I am probably the only person on this planet that has never had a relationship with her lol.

    Keep your head up girl..you know I think you are absolutely fabulous :)

  8. I haven’t seen that Jillan Michaels DVD. I have her Cardio Kick Box Fast Fix, it kick my butt and oddly enough she is likable in it. I do it for 20 minutes and I can’t do anything else, my legs are sore as hell. What do you think of the DVD your working out with?

  9. Kimberly says:

    Girlfriend, you do NOT suck at life. The person who told you that sucks at life.
    And I do have a VCR, so I could have totally lent you one if you lived closer. And I would have. And I would have told you (repeatedly) that you in now way suck at life.

  10. Errign says:

    Blaaaaaah for just straight up criticism…no bueno!

  11. kilax says:

    WTF. I hope your week got better with less a-holes saying this crap to you!

    I think I need this DVD for when I have those days… almost every day.

    Ha ha. We did get rid of our VCR a long time ago :)

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